A fond Aloha to all,
I forgot to mention yesterday that my darling wife who is my best friend, is here with me providing her unending support & love. As she has been through every test, hospital stay, surgery and recovery. To say she is an angel is an understatement. I am forever grateful for her kindness.
Day two involved two tests, a blood test and a bone scan. The bone scan is to check to see if the colon cancer has metastasized to the bones. Both were painless and brief.
Did you know that on average we humans have 50-60,000 thoughts per day! Throw in a cancer diagnosis and that number gets ramped up. How did this happen, what stage is it, will I have laproscopic surgery or full abdominal surgery, how extensive is it, will I have to have a colostomy bag, has it spread to my bones, will chemotherapy and radiation be recommended. Those are the factual type thoughts & questions that will be answered by the tests and the surgeon. How lucky am I to be able to be here in Phoenix at Mayo Clinic, if not the best medical facility in the world, it’s in the top three.
Then there are the fear thoughts. And the distracting thoughts. And the planning thoughts. And the anywhere but here thoughts. It is easy to grasp onto a thought and have that be reality. That’s what we do. The truth is all thoughts pass. As does all emotion. As does all sensation. Fortunately as a result of mindfulness practice I am able to witness most of my thoughts, emotions and sensations. And in the acknowledging of them, I accept them and let them go knowing they are not who I am.
Yes, there are times when I get stuck with a fearful thought, but it’s generally not for too long. I know that I am a joyful spirit filled with love for myself and others. I give myself permission to be compassionate with myself and others. That doesn’t change one bit because of cancer.
When I practice being in the moment nothing else matters. It is in each moment I connect with Source energy which enables me to connect with everyone I meet. It’s not about woe is me. It’s about sharing the love. I could ask for no greater blessing than to be able to show love to each person I meet.
Remembering to breathe,
Jesse