I saw a friend today who thought I was having all kinds of worries about the upcoming colon cancer surgery on December 19th. They thought I was going to end up with a colostomy (the permanent bag outside) and have to do radiation and/or chemo. I realized I have the best situation I could have for the situation I’m in. Because the colon tumor is on the right side, a colostomy is not needed. Radiation in general is not needed for colon tumors. And chemo is only called for if lymph nodes that are removed are positive. Given that nothing has spread to the kidneys or the lungs, it’s a good sign.
And the surgery will be done laproscopically, one two inch incision and three smaller ones, which generally allows for a quicker recovery of 3-4 days in hospital. So if all remains as indicated, with no complications, I’ll be doing cart wheels in no time.
Annoyances are a pain in the butt aren’t they? Yesterday I found myself annoyed in general. When I am annoyed I respond with unkind words or neglect my needs. So I began to examine what being annoyed is all about. I realized that if I am not aware I’m annoyed and what’s annoying me, I find myself in a grouchy mood. And everything I say is grouchy.
As I examined further I became aware, hey, I’m grouchy and I just said something I ordinarily wouldn’t say. It’s so easy to blame others or situations and say that’s why I’m annoyed. If only they acted differently, or said different words, or the situation worked out the way it was supposed to, I wouldn’t be annoyed! I’m smiling as I write this.
I have dozens, perhaps hundreds of things happen throughout the day and night that I can categorize as annoying. Reread my blog called Overwhelm and you’ll get a sense of what causes me to be annoyed.
As with anything in mindfulness, awareness is the first step to freedom from annoyances or anything else. If I am not aware I am annoyed, I am simply being annoying to myself and others. We all have good radar that let’s us know something doesn’t feel good. As soon as I sense that, I examine it. Okay so it’s so annoying when my syringe pops out and food goes everywhere. I can remain annoyed, blame it on the g-tube, and stay upset. Or I can see it for what it is, do what I need to do to correct it, and continue on. I close the tube, replace the towel, wipe everything off, and continue with my feeding. And acknowledge that stuff happens, it’s okay, and it has nothing to do with the natural joyful spirit that I am!
I do this dozens or more times a day every day not only with the physical issues I address each day but also the “normal” life issues. If you cut me off on the highway, no problem. If you’re late for our meeting, no problem. If you change your mind, no problem. I accept others doing things and don’t take them personal and do not get annoyed as a result. I like to use humor in many situations to lighten the mood for me or you and is a way to say all is okay.
I do not control the universe! The universe doesn’t control me! I accept what is in each moment which gives me the freedom to choose life affirming words or actions. And I do it over and over and over and over and over. In each moment. Unless I forget. Until I remember again.
Toy with your annoyances and see what happens.
Namaste