Words and phrases that will have a new meaning for me now:
Anal-retentive.
All that trouble is behind me.
The bottom line is…
This has been a really sh*tty day.
It’ll all come out OK.
I have fanny fatigue.
I’m pooped.
That scares the sh*t out of me.
Nice ass.
What an assh*le that guy is.
Here’s the scuttle-butt.
He’s on the poop deck.
Butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
Gas up and go!
Good to go! (What you want is “Good to Not Go!”)
Some Medical Terms
Cat Scan – searching for the kitty
Morbid – A better offer
Node – knew it
Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis
Recovery – re-upholstering that old sofa
Rectum – d*mn near killed him
The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of their two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist (today’s colorectal surgeon). They put up a sign reading:
“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors”
The town council was livid and insisted they change it. So, the docs changed it to read:
“Schizoids and Hemorrhoids”
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
“Catatonics and High Colonics” – No go.
Next, they tried:
“Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives” – thumbs down again.
Then came “Minds and Behinds” – still no good.
Another attempt resulted in “Lost Souls and Butt Holes”- unacceptable again!
So they tried “Analysis and Anal Cysts” – not a chance.
“Nuts and Butts”- no way.
“Freaks and Cheeks”- still no good.
“Loons and Moons”- forget it.
Almost at their wit’s end, the docs finally came up with:
“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones
Specializing in Odds and Ends”.
Everyone loved it!